Through the Ranks
by Omniwriter1234
Summary: Kill, a verb which meaning is to cause the end of. But what really is killing? What does it really mean to utterly end someone? How does someone learn to understand just how dark such a simple four letter word is?
1. Desire

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own any recognizable and/or licensed material appearing in this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form. I am not attempting to or making any financial profit from this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form with any recognizable and/or licensed material appearing in this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form. I am not claiming or making any claims to owning any recognizable and/or licensed material appearing in this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form. All recognizable and/or licensed material in any way, shape, and/or form belongs to their respective owners in any way, shape, and/or form recognized to the fullest extent of the law.

AN: This is just a project of mine. Expect either an update daily or at best a couple of days between them.

Also, thanks to IRead2MuchManga99 since I bounced idea off of them for a few parts of this.

Anyway, enjoy.

* * *

The UAA, the premiere organization for killers around the globe and I would finally be part of it. I just need to kill another wackjob killer and I'll be almost in the top twenty. This one'll be easy as hell if the last few were any example of what was to come. I come in, kick this guy's ass, and I'm home before dinner.

Man, I can't help but think about how great I am at times, it's like my sheer greatness just makes it impossible for any of these losers to kill me. If the last few were any indication of what I was dealing with than getting to the top ten was going to be a goddamn piece of cake.

Ah, I can see it now. I head up to the head honcho once I'm Rank 2 and I demolish him, kicking his ass just like everyone else before him and taking his spot as Rank 1 and then I'll be both famous and rich as all hell. I would be a celebrity and I'll be one kickass boss too. I can hardly wait for when I dethrone Rank 1. It'll be incredible.

Anyway, might as well check the letter some lackey gave me once I got to the place. I think it's a police station but hey, I'm probably going to wreck the place and they'll probably build some UAA thing here, probably another police station but this one...you know, filled with like assassins and stuff. It's all real basic in truth, you wreck a place, UAA comes in, a few months later you've got some UAA thing there. Rinse and repeat. Me? I would totally turn this place into a strip club or...a double strip club? Is that a thing or is it-wait a second, I've got this letter so I should probably check it out.

 _Hello Rank 22. This letter is merely confirming that you're Ranking Match between Rank 21 has been accepted and you can enter at anytime from the times between 9:00 AM and 9:00 PM. Please be mindful of recording equipment and do dress to impress._

 _Sincerely, the UAA Ranking Battles Board Chairman..._

Damn name was smudged away because the idiot wrote in ink. Who the hell does that? Has this guy ever even heard of a computer.

I swear, fucking losers run the UAA half the time.

Anyway, ignoring whatever idiot was in charge of the fucking ancient operation they've got going on, I opened up the doors in front of me and looked around before spotting the cop at the desk, going over a few papers but I ignored him when I walked up and instead pushed him away when I hopped over the desk to look at the monitors in front of him.

Alright, let's see. Pointless shit, some cops talking, more cops, more cops, dammit how many cops are here! Okay, more cops, and, big surprise, more cops. When the hell was I was going to find this guy?

Oh wait, bingo! Guy was in some room with a few other, you guessed it, cops and I, as an afterthought, knocked the officer in front of me out. I really didn't need him warning this guy the Grim Reaper was here, would be way cooler when I showed up in, like always, spectacular style. So, anyway, I walked by a few more cops in the halls once I got through the doors and was looking down the hall, where Rank 21 (my future rank) was (probably) waiting for me.

Oh man, I think I'm getting anxious cause I can't stop from grinning in excitement. I was about to own Rank 21 and then, after him, I would be destroying Rank 1 eventually and be king of the UAA. It was going to be so sweet when I got there.

No! Stay focused man. You've got to stay styling when you get in there and to do that you can't smile. Badasses got to come in like a boss.

I took a moment to get myself together at the door where Rank 21 lied just on the other side and taking a glance at the camera crew behind me I gave a grin before I kicked open the doors, one slamming into some no name officer and throwing him off to the side while I strolled in like I owned the place. Probably would after I cleaned out the Ranks. Looking around, I spotted a dozen or so cameras up above me on the walls and I couldn't stop my grin. I wonder what everyone was thinking that would be seeing this fight live.

Anyway, getting back to my goal, I saw Rank 21 smiling with two other cops, some bald Asian guy and another Latino man but I really didn't care since neither of those guys were ranked or even in the UAA probably, they would have taken down this guy already if they were.

"Hey 21!" I walked up to the guy, only drawing his attention for the moment before he turned back to the two cops he was talking to and only succeeded in pissing me off when he held up a box of donuts to the two. Who the hell did this guy think he was? I was about to own his ass and he better understand that! "HEY! Didn't you hear me!"

The guy was still ignoring me but the two cops were backing away, the bald guy taking the box of donuts when 21 offered the box to him as he sighed.

"Sorry, can I help you?" The asshole finally turned around (about time) and that stupid smile on his face actually pissed me off more than this fucker ignoring me did.

"You know why I'm here asshole now are we going to fight or what!" I got close to him, I knew this guy was going to be a pushover and now all I needed to do was to probably give this guy a glare and he would probably shit himself.

"I really don't, mind telling me why you came in here shouting?" This guy was really starting to piss me off. I fought some guy like him before and now this little 'I'm not an assassin, I'm just a normal guy' gimmick is one of the most annoying things I've come across in the UAA and I've been in it since I offed Rank 30 when he got on my nerve and got into this. "I'm not really sure why but I think you're mistaking me for someone else."

"And who is it?" I'll play his game I guess, for probably a few more seconds before I just kill this loser.

"I'll take you to him, he's in lock up I think." This guy, yeah he's beyond annoying now and when he turned around I planned to just snap his neck but the son of a bitch dodged my lunge by sidestepping but at least his damn stupid smile is finally gone, I was getting sick of it. I see a glint in his hand and that's the only warning I get before I'm backpedaling, dodging a few lighting quick strikes from what looks like a scalpel doctors would use for surgery.

Alright, one question now: How the hell did this bastard get Rank 21? The last guy I fought had a sword bigger than he was and knew how to use it even if he was some emo looking blonde kid. He would have demolished this loser in seconds with his tiny knife (if you can even call it that). Goddamn the UAA has gone to shit because of this new Rank 1. I'll be glad when I take that loser down.

"Wow, so you do got some fight in you then?" I grinned as I took a step forward, dropping the case I had over my back and it popped open once it hit the ground, that what crappy latches do for you. Anyway, I kicked my favorite weapon up into the air and the thing that made me a fan favorite. I admit, I kinda copied it from some dead goth girl, M-something Moon-something (why the hell does some dead girl matter?), but I made it so much better. This thing had a crap ton of surprises which includes a shotgun on one end, a SMG at the other, one big ass wicked scythe blade along with the SMG, and, the best part of it, a cigarette dispenser and lighter along the middle of the handle so I can get a quick smoke in after killing whatever loser I was up again. I call it Grim, you know, like the Grim Reaper? Pretty fucking awesome, right? And if you don't think that's epic, I've been thinking of adding some type of igniting system on the scythe blade to get the whole hellfire look. Would make this thing look even more badass.

Oh man, this fight is going to be epic, I can't wait to rip through this fucker with Grim.

"Dear God, you really just annoy me." Rank 21 sighed when he slipped his tiny little knife into his pocket and instead walked over to a desk, reaching down and pulling out a bag he must have kept underneath his desk (this loser probably used some weak ninja crap so I'll demolish this wannabe). "I can't believe you killed Cloud."

"Believe it you dumbass and you'll get to hear all the details from that emo bitch down in hell!" I slid one foot forward while lowering my center of gravity while I spun my scythe behind my back, the blade leaning over my shoulder and it was pointed towards 21.

"And you're just some disrespectful punk too?" 21 sighed again as he unzipped the bag, leaning on the table for a moment and that's all I needed.

"And I'm about to kill you!" Grim was swinging down and cleaved the desk in front of me in half, the guy was rolling back in his chair and he was laughing now, his head in his hands before he looked at me and I froze for a bit.

This guy...his eyes...they were like fucking fire. He hated me-no. Hate doesn't describe the thing in this guy's eyes. He wanted to rip me apart a few times over.

But, badasses like me, we get that look all the time from losers who are just jealous. I shook it off like any badass would and just gave the guy a grin.

"You ready to die loser?"

"FUCK ME!" The guy screamed and I was avoiding a few knives from his hands while I dragged Grim with me as I jumped back since the damn thing was stuck in the ground before I ripped it back and pointed the top of the scythe at 21.

"Chill the fuck out!" A spray of bullets erupted from the SMG I had up there but the guy was gone so I only tore up the chair in front of me and I didn't see him anymore, just a bunch of panicking cops before a door slammed shut as shutter came down over the tech lab across the room.

"So, you're in there huh?" I just swung the scythe around at him and pulled down the hidden trigger, unleashing another spray from the SMG and the armor piercing rounds should do the job for me and I would just take a quick snapshot of the bloody room with that loser in it and I would be golden.

The bullets didn't get through, sure they dented the damn thing but besides that they didn't do anything else.

"What the hell?" I lowered my scythe, this was some weird shit and the shutters suddenly sprung up and Rank 21 was just looking at me now, with an expressionless look on his face.

"I guess I'm collecting another slide then." This guy...he freaked me the fuck out right now. He was so damn...cold all of a sudden. Writing it off, I flipped a switch and spun the scythe in my hand, the tip digging into the ground behind me.

"Yeah, that's not happening you freak!" A blast of buckshot ripped through the window but the guy was gone again. It was like this loser could teleport or something but if I couldn't do it than there was nowhere this no name loser would be able to so I just let another shell go, hopefully dealing with this fucker since I slung the scythe back over my shoulder.

"You dead yet!" I hope so, this guy was weird now and I don't like the weird bastards in the UAA. They always try to talk to you and be all deep and shit. I'm just trying to be a badass killer and they cramp my style WAY too much. Once I get Rank 1 I'll kick all of those weirdos out and keep 'em out.

"Hardly." This freak was behind me! Dammit!

I was too slow and the freak's scalpel cut a thin line in my back and suddenly I felt very woozy before I shook it off and found the asshole in front of me and he was grinning as he looked down at the scalpel with a few drops of blood on it.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I am definitely pissed now! "Do you have any idea how much my coat cost!" Okay, so it's like $80 bucks but that's a fucking struggle for some kid just out of college and buying a sweet ass pad like I did.

"Blood, it's wonderful thing, isn't it?" The freak was staring almost lovingly at the blood on his scalpel before he looked back up at me. "Don't you agree?"

"C-C-Cut the crap you freak!" Okay, that's it, SMG time.

Squeezing down the trigger, I was sure I would deal with this guy now but he had already sidestepped my spray of bullets (it was like he knew what I was going to do) and I took a step back when he took one forward.

"Let's see what you've got kid." The guy picked up a meat cleaver from his feet and I just now noticed the shit ton of knives around the room he must have scattered when he dodged my first wave of gunfire. He pointed his meat cleaver at me while he picked up another much larger knife, a thing I usually see in a butcher shop. "My name is Dexter Morgan, Rank 21 in the UAA."

"Yeah, and I'm about to be Rank 21 and I don't tell my name to dead man walking!" I charged him, grinning when I knew I caught him by surprise before the weird fucker somehow stopped my sweet scythe with his tiny knife before bringing the cleaver down, the broad side, and slapped me away.

"I've had enough of you kid."

"Fighters ready?" A voice from the speaker suddenly resounded in the room and I grinned, it was finally official I guess.

"Welcome viewers to the Rank 21 Ranking Battle! Let's hope this is a bloodbath!" The announcer was definitely followed by a cheer by all my fans watching me. "Grim takes on the Dark Defender! Who wins this battle to the death?"

"You ready to die?" Usually that got people serious but the guy just smiled at me (the freak) and then I was dodging another scalpel aimed for my neck and Grim tossed aside a cleaver he threw at me from slicing off my head.

This guy was actually a threat? Who thought some loser who brought donuts would be dangerous?

"I'm going to enjoy this." This guy was way to calm, even as I noticed his hand was filled with another set of scalpels and they flew at me but I easily knocked these away while I ran forward, Grim spinning in front of my for a moment before it was high in the air, digging into the ceiling so I could bury my boot into this freak's head but he ducked and put a scalpel into my leg.

"FUCK!" That asshole! I flip the switch near my hand and a spray of buckshot fire out of the end of Grim but 21 dodged it like he dodged my SMG the first time (again like he knew what I was going to do) so I just fired off two more shells and the guy was suddenly on my side and another knife would have gotten me if I didn't plant one foot and rip Grim out, sending it swinging at the guy like a batter up at the plate. He dodged it, taking a few quick steps back but I was already on him, launching off of the wall with Grin unleashing a spray of bullets from the SMG up front when I switched it back.

Man, it would be awesome if I had thought of that hellfire idea after I knocked off Rank 22 but I rushed over to Rank 21 like a day or two afterwards.

Anyway, getting back to the fight, I was being a boss while I was swinging Grim around, unleashing a down right blizzard of bullets when a knife suddenly lodged into my shoulder and 21 was in front of me suddenly and I got a solid look into his eyes.

They weren't focused on me, they were focused on the blood that was on his two knives before I swung Grim at him, intending to take his head off now and finish this freak but he used his long knife to stop me before he was suddenly kicking me so like what any boss would do I planted the end of my scythe in the ground and went total Matrix style when I held myself up on the scythe but then I heard some weird clang and I flipped the switch, throwing myself up with the recoil from letting loose another shell.

I was right to move up, I just dodged a few knifes that only added a few thin cuts to my coat instead of drawing more blood.

Okay, rebounding knives off a wall is new but I can handle this loser still. I just got to be even more of a badass while I fight now.

"You're not very good at dodging." The guy was far away now, across the room and sitting down in a chair. "How did you even kill one of us?"

"Shut the hell up loser!" SMG again and this time the guy fell back, rolling with the chair and underneath a desk that fell over, shielding him for about a second before the bullets ripped through it and I kept it up until the clip was empty and it popped out, falling to the floor and I grinned.

"Not a very good shot either." The guy was off to the side now and now I was pissed off so I flipped the switch but when I pulled the trigger nothing happened.

"And unprepared." The guy sighed as he sat down on a desk unrolling a cloth and staring longingly at the dozen or so knives inside. "I guess I'll finish this now."

Okay, so I'm out of bullets. Fuck. Now I got to deal with this freak up close and now I've got to take him down way less cooler. Damn.

Anyway, I rushed this freak now, swinging Grim in front of me to end this now but he stops it with another of his big knives so I take a few steps back and throw Grim behind me before swinging again, acting like I was swinging at a pitch for a home run and the guy ducks underneath Grim before he's way too close and I turn to the side to avoid a stab with one of his knives before rushing back, Grim coming back and actually managing to catch the guy in the back.

And shit just got crazy.

The guy freezes, one hand lashing out and holding Grim in place, stopping me from pulling it back any further and he just looks at me again, the same crazy dead look he's had on his face before but it was changing now, looks like the fucker was finally going to take me seriously.

"So, this is my blood?" The freak just looked down, at the blood running down his leg and on the ground. I just roll my eyes and give Grim another pull but it didn't budge, the fucker had an iron grip on the pole and I couldn't do a damn thing with it.

"What the fuck man!" I try pulling again but I can't do anything while this freak starts pulling me forward with one hand no matter how much I try to pull back.

"This..." The guy doesn't finish because suddenly I'm flying through the air, smacking into a wall and I was groggy for a second before I snapped myself out of it and got back to my feet, just rolling out the kink in my neck like a badass would.

"Good job loser, mind doing that again?" With grim gone, I just crack my knuckles, I'm going to get it back obviously but who doesn't enjoy beating on freaks like this guy? Anyway, I roll my neck and stop a few meters from the guy who's staring at Grim before he suddenly grinning when he grabs the handle with both hands.

"This feeling..." The crazy fucker isn't going to do what I think he's going to do, right?

"It's..." No! No loser is that crazy! He takes Grim out and he's fucked and I don't get to kick his ass then!

"Nothing!" He did it, he ripped out Grim and he started laughing now, he's laughing while he's looking at the blood on the ground, all of it coming from him and he's just laughing while he's probably dying.

"I feel nothing! Why?" This crazy asshole is screaming at the sky or something now so I'm done.

"Blood is all that matter so why does mine do nothing!" The freak kept screaming at the ceiling, ranting about blood so I picked up a knife and flung it at him.

He stopped it through...

WITH HIS FUCKING HAND! Literally! He let the knife go through his hand and didn't even flinch! How the fuck does someone do that!

This guy went from being a freak to some crazy asshole that suddenly doesn't feel any pain!

"You shouldn't have done that." And now he was calm again, this asshole is definitely crazy.

"What the fuck are you!" This guy was probably some genetic freak.

"That doesn't matter." The guy ripped the knife out of his hand, grinning when he saw the blood covering the blade and coming from his hand.

"What the fuck?" Okay, I'm taking a few steps back now. This shit is ridiculous but a badass can't break character and ask the guys behind me what the fuck was this guy's problem. I have to get my shit back together and end this guy and get to Rank 21 already.

"All that matters is that I'll just add another slide to my connection." And he was grinning at me now...I want to get the fuck out of here but I have to stay to get to 21 so I just get into a boxing stance, I've seen that shit enough times to know how to do it.

"Fuck your collection." Yeah, best comeback to this weird fucker, well a punch to the face is always better through.

"FUCK YOU!" The guy dodged me, got underneath my arm, and I was flying through the air again and landed on my back but I got back up and dodged the crazy motherfucker when he tried to get his hands around my throat.

"FUCK YOU!" The guy keeps up with me, every step I take back he's on me and always going for another lunge, always trying to strangle me but I've got a plan now, against this loser it wasn't even hard to come up with.

"FUCK YOU!" Hell, is this all this guy can say now.

Anyway, I've taken enough steps back and just like I thought (me being the fucking genius badass that I am) I kicked Grim up into my awaiting hands, even adding a few spins to it before I caught the blade, the scythe blade hanging over my back and I was grinning cuz I knew I looked like a complete and utter badass right now.

Quick checklist:

Scythe? Check.

Jacket flare out behind me? Check.

A bit of blood? Check (maybe a bit too much so got to work on that but not with this psycho)

Determined expression? Fuck that, I'm smiling before I cut this loser in half.

So yeah, I'm all set and when the loser charges me I've got him right where I want him.

"Time to die fuckface!" I charge the loser and now I've got him on the defensive. He'll try to dodge Grim and I'll rip this loser apart and move on to Rank 20 in...Give me thirty or so seconds? A minute tops.

So the loser may dodge my first swing and get out of the way of my second but there's nowhere he's getting out of me overhead smash. He's done for.

Well, he would have if he didn't stop the damn scythe with his arm...DOES HE KNOW WHAT A SCYTHE IS! I tear through his arm like I should have cut him in half but the crazy fucker must have used his arm to buy him some time cuz the asshole's blood got in my eyes.

NsF: Get some damn sunglasses or something. A badass can't get blood in his eyes when he's killing.

Anyway, I know I probably look like a dumbass now but I can't do anything since I can't see but I can still hear.

The guy's coming up behind me so I swing Grim down and I grin when I feel Grim lodge into something, probably soft and fleshy and I'm right. I've got the fucker through the side and Grim's other end is through his side.

"See ya loser." I pull back but the guy stops Grim, somehow but I guess it's that crazy strength or something.

"Not yet..." Blood is coming out this guy in waves so I snort.

"Let go of my scythe loser, I got to clean the blade already." I pull again but he keeps me from doing it. He's just looking at me now.

"You're an idiot kid."

"Says the guy with the scythe in him." You would think the creep with the scythe in him would be dead by now but he's not. Why exactly?

"Says the guy who doesn't know what killing is?"

Two word: The fuck?

"You really don't know a thing?" The guy pulls himself forward, Grim moving with him.

Seriously, why the fuck is this guy still alive?

"You act like this is just a game, something you should take pride in." Okay, this fucker is too close now.

Seriously, what the fuck? Shut up and die already!

"You act like killing is something you can just do but the truth is you can't."

If the guy would let go, I could show him how to do it right.

"You act like killing is a choice."

I will literally pay this motherfucker to shut up for the next ten seconds so I can kill him in peace!

"It's not. Killing isn't something you understand. Killing is a disease, an addiction that you're just playing with."

Who the hell does this guy think he is? Who the hell is he trying to be?

"Killing isn't for children."

"Who the fuck are you calling a kid!"

"Who else dresses up like an adult, tries to play with dad's tie and act like he's a man? What little girl doesn't play with mom's makeup and wear her clothes? You're nothing but a kid and you don't know what it means to kill. You're trying to enter into a world you don't need to be in. Nobody deserves to be in this game but we're all stuck in it. None of us had a choice!" The guy looks pissed all of a sudden but then he's smiling. "I had my reasons to kill and that's why I killed but you!" He somehow gets a hand up and points at me, still smiling. "My reasons might have been bad, I may have killed out of desire but you didn't! You think this is a choice! You think this is a joke! Just a game when it's not! Killing has never been a game! Killing is one of the worst things anyone can do and you think it's something to play with!" Through it all, this crazy fucker is still smiling. I guess that's how creeps like him get by, that and pissing the wrong people off.

"I was born in blood, I killed before I was a man because I had to, because it was in my nature." The guy's still smiling at me, completely ignoring the fact that he's pissing off the guy who holds his life in his hands or maybe he just doesn't care since he knows he's a goner anyway. "You still think killing is a joke so you're nothing but a kid trying to play, trying to act like he's an adult."

"Yeah, guess what through?" I lean forward, grinning like him and he looks me in the eye, still smiling like the freak he is.

"What?" Yeah right, he knows precisely what I'm about to do, he even lets his hand fall off Grim so he knows he's fucked.

"This kid just killed you."

I rip Grim through the fucker. I cut him in half but I'm not smiling anymore.

"Congratulations!"

"Rank 21: Dexter Morgan: DEAD!"

Usually I would be celebrating but right now I'm not, I'm just looking down at the fucker below me and I'm not smiling. When this guy died, he was smiling for some reason. He died smiling...WHO SAID HE COULD DIE LIKE THIS! WHY THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE CAN MOCK ME LIKE THIS!

"Fuck you." I kick the legs away.

"Fuck you!" I'm stomping on this loser now.

"FUCK YOU!" Huh, I can get why he said it now, it's a good one to say when you're smashing a loser's head with your foot.

"FUCK YOU!" Grim is swinging now.

"FUCK YOU!" I'll hack this fucker apart! Who thinks he can mock me!

"FUCK YOU!" Who the fuck said he could die like that!

"FUCK YOU!" Who the fuck said he could disrespect me like this!

"Enough!" Some guys in suits stop me, they pull me back while they toast the body but they don't see me pick up the scalpel the guy used.

Dexter Morgan.

Go fuck yourself.

* * *

AN: And finished.

Peace.


	2. Peace

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own any recognizable and/or licensed material appearing in this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form. I am not attempting to or making any financial profit from this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form with any recognizable and/or licensed material appearing in this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form. I am not claiming or making any claims to owning any recognizable and/or licensed material appearing in this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form. All recognizable and/or licensed material in any way, shape, and/or form belongs to their respective owners in any way, shape, and/or form recognized to the fullest extent of the law.

AN: Another shoutout to IRead2MuchManga99 since he helped write the ending to this fic after I got stuck on it.

AN: And, just a side note, the delay between the publication and this update was because of me moving...it takes a long time to drive ten hours.

* * *

Okay, crazy fucker is dealt with but...nah. I can ignore what he said, right?

I can't actually. That guy told me I was like a kid trying to dress up like an adult, told me I had no idea what killing really was, I was in this business for the wrong reason but he's got to be wrong. I know it. That asshole was weird as hell anyway so why should I listen to him? He even told me he was crazy ever since he popped out. He was just some loser, just like everyone else I had fought before him.

All that matters from that fight was that I was now Rank 21 and soon I was going to be Rank 20 once I dealt with the next loser. Fuck anything a dead man said, was probably that insane rambling shit people do when they die.

 _"Killing isn't for children."_

Fuck that guy. He didn't know what he was talking about. I'm a certified badass and soon to be Rank 1 in the UAA once I deal with the loser keeping my seat warm.

 _"You're trying to enter into a world you don't need to be in."_

This is my world through, this has always been my world ever since I decided to get to the top of the UAA and rip apart the fucker who thinks he's on the top just because he's Rank 1, above a bunch of losers I'll rip apart like paper. But the guy was right in one way, this isn't my world. I am this world. I'm the reason the UAA is getting popular again, I'm the reason that people are watching it again and I know it.

A badass just knows how great they are and I'm one of the greatest who ever lived.

 _"You act like this is just a game, something you should take pride in."_

Snap out of it man, ignore that crazy fucker who thinks he knows everything just because he's Rank 21, the loser isn't even in the top ten and he thinks he can try to talk to me like that? Ridiculous! A loser like him is just that, a loser! He was probably a loser the moment he popped out! One of those freaks in school who thinks he knows everything!

How the fuck does this guy think if he tries to talk to me with some "holier-than-thou" attitude! He's nothing but a piece of shit who got lucky because he never got to face someone like me! I'm a badass who mows down losers like him no matter what type of bullshit some piece of shit like him tries!

...Anyway,back to the important stuff.

Mainly the fact that Rank 20's ass was grass. I was the badass and Grim was the wicked ass mower.

I got another letter this morning, a few days after dealing with that loser holding Rank 21 and getting drunk off my ass. A hell of a lot of drinks and cash later I got back to me pad and threw back a few more bottles before I passed out. Post killer hangover and I'm back, Grim's even got's an upgrade after I tweaked it a little and now I can take Rank 20's spot and then eventually I'll be Rank 1.

But damn, there's just so many losers between me and my fucking Rank! After this one, I've got to go through nineteen more of these losers to even get a shot at Rank 1.

Anyway, back to the letter I've got because for some reason these assholes send letters instead of, I don't know, a fucking email?

 _Hello Rank 21. This letter is merely confirming that you're Ranking Match between Rank 20 has been accepted and you can enter at anytime from the times between 9:00 AM and 9:00 PM. Please be mindful of recording equipment and do dress to impress._

 _Sincerely, the UAA Ranking Battles Board Chairman..._

So what? Did they just print out a lot of these things or something? Where the fuck is my name? Do only the top ten get it or something? Why those losers and not me? I'm a badass on basically every level! I've got the badass scythe in Grim, the clothes with sunglasses added, and I'm even working on the trophies from the losers I've killed. Scalpel from that freak was hanging off from a belt around my leg. These motherfuckers should be lucky I'm even letting them pull this shit for so long and they better respect the future Rank 1. I'm already going to clear out all the losers holding the Ranks above me and the dumbasses who run the UAA are next.

Those losers are all going to learn how to respect someone like me, the future Rank 1 in the UAA!

Anyway, I'm standing outside the mall since that's where the UAA drivers who picked me up took me here and now I've got to deal with this fucker and get Rank 20.

So, quick checklist:

Grim in it's case? Check.

Sunglasses? Check.

New coat after that creep that kept my new spot for me cut it? Kinda check. Couldn't find a new one so settled on patching it up.

Rank 20? Give me about five, maybe ten minutes tops.

So, everything's accounted for and now all I've got to do is head in the-WHAT THE FUCK!

I back up when some crazy motherfucker suddenly lands in front of me, the asshole must have jumped off the roof of the mall (this thing is five or so levels) and landed right in front of me with something in his hand.

 **21**. Yep, that's my Rank and this guy's holding the fucking letter with it. Why that fuck can't someone just use a phone for once? Anyway, since Rank 20 is probably up at the top of the mall or something I pop open Grim's case and let the scythe rest over my shoulder before letting out a burst with the SMG and grin when another fucker falls over the roof but this isn't 20. This is another fucker with **HA** taped to his chest and now I'm pissed so I flip Grim back into it's case and I guess I've got to go into the mall or something.

Stupid s-

 **HA!**

 **HA!**

 **HA!**

And I immediately get a face full of fucking corpses! Three of the bastards are just hanging in front of me, all of them have one thing in common. I know each pale face in front of me right now. They were convicted felons that had escaped a few days ago, killed a few people each, and they somehow ended up at the mall. The mall with a helluva lot of weird shit happening in it everyday. So yeah, I'm in a haunted mall and probably going to fight a ghost.

One word: Awesome!

Who else could say they beat the hell out of a ghost? This guy right here! Oh man, I can imagine it now!

I'll be all like bam! The ghost will be all like boo I'm a ghost and I'll be all like bang bang bang cuz I'll use the SMG and then boom when I use the shotgun and then the ghost would be boo stop and I'll do a little slash here and a slash there and then another slash and I've got a ghost pelt on my walls! Oh man it's going to be awesome!

I can't wait to find the thing so I can kill it!

Wait, do ghost even have pelts? Fuck it. I'll deal with it after I kill it all I know is I'm getting some ghost merch from this one way or the other.

"Come on out ghost! I promise to kill you quick if you do!" Wait, would that work? Since ghosts kind of already died wouldn't that make saying something like that stupid or something but wait if I kill the ghost and then they come back as a ghost of a ghost? Does killing ghosts just cause an endless cycle of ghost coming back as the ghost of their past ghost-self? Should I just camp out here and get me enough ghost pelts to line my walls or should I just kill the ghost and then say fuck it to any ghost of the ghost that pop up? Man, this got really confusing all of a sudden.

How am I supposed to be a badass at Rank 1 if I'm stuck here killing ghost over and over again cuz' they just keep coming back as a ghost of the ghost I just killed? Do I need to go do some church stuff or something? Get a few holy daggers? Get some holy water? Beat it up with a cross? I need answers for fuck sake!

Wait a second...what if I beat the hell out of it with Grim and then just whacked it to death with a cross from...this is a mall right? I've just got to look around a bit and BAM! I've got a cross somewhere...hopefully...If not, I'll just have to beat the ghost to death with Grim and then rekill it with a cross or something else church-y when I get the chance.

Okay, that's done with so now I can focus on kicking ghost ass and taking no names...maybe. If he's a cool ghost I may call up his ghost of his ghost to hang out sometimes or something...as long as they aren't like some Casper or shit like that, I'll kill 'em over and over again off of principle then.

"Come on out ghost!" Where the hell was he? Here I am having come to a decision on how to deal with the fucker and he doesn't show? WTF? Does he not know how important this is right now?

"Where the hell are you!" Fucking losers get to be ghost now or something? I don't even see any creepy shit or...you know...ghostly signs or something like that! I came here to kick ass and I'm not seeing no ass to kick! What the hell is with the UAA now!

If you get a ghost in the rankings than make sure the fucker will at least show up before you have a badass like me show up! That's rule numero uno when you're dealing with the best in the world. I didn't come here to get cheated out of a fight and I'm pretty sure there's a military depot nearby this dump of a town and I am not afraid to pull some GTA stuff and steal a fighter jet or some tank or...whatever the fuck else they've got to mess shit up! I will blow this abandoned dump of a mall to kingdom come if it comes to it! I am not going to be fucked with people! Understand that or Grim's going up your ass and then I'm going to rip you the fuck up with a few dozen rounds!

I will fucking destroy him if he doesn't show up in the next ten se-

"I see you've gotten my welcome package then?" And bingo, I've finally got some ass to kick!

"Yeah! And you're about to get mine!"

"And what is that?" Is this little shit taunting me?

"A trip to hell in bitch class you ghost!"

"...So, you took down Morgan?" Annnnnnd that voice came from the mall's speakers. Two words: The fuck? What happened to the whole wailing and groaning (or is it groaning and wailing) I was hoping for.

"Hey man, it's nice chatting to a future victim and all but where the hell's my ghost? I've got spectral ass to kick!" This guy must be working for the ghost or something, some real weirdos rock that shit from some reason so I just pump this guy for answers and BOOM! I've got my ghost right where I want 'em, right on Grim's wicked ass scythe blade.

"So you are that stupid after all then...incredible." Is this little asshole still trying to talk shit to me?

"I'm giving you til the count of three to rat out your boss you freak before I rip you a new asshole and then shove your head up both!"

"There is no ghost you moron, you're simply stupid enough to believe that the powers of a god are something like those of a specter."...THAT LITTLE SHIT!

"YOU LITTLE LYING PIECE OF SHIT! You're telling me I got psyched up for a ghost fight but there isn't one!" I AM PISSED!

"No one ever said anything like that you moron. You're the one who believes in the worthless supernatural."

"I'm going to fuck you up kid!"

"Better have tried, in the end you'll just be another name."

"Well fuck you!"

Finally shut the fucker up so now I can focus on finding him and then cutting off his head. If I knew where I was in this fucking mall!

"I have to say, I'm not very impressed but I guess even an idiot like you can get lucky." And the voice is back after a few minutes of me heading deeper and deeper into this way to big mall.

"Yeah, just like I'm going to be lucky when I shove Grim up your ass!"

"You dare to threaten a god!" Who the hell calls themselves a god? I mean, I'm totally one but this bitch who's basically just a placeholder for me thinks he's a big deal all of a sudden? Who the hell does this loser think he is? The only god here is me! The god of badasses! Not some punk who won't even show his face to the badass who's going to fuck him up!

"There's only one god here pal and that's me!"

"We'll see who's right." The guy laughs at me at the end and now he's on the level of that creep I just fought.

Then some random guy is charging me and I give him a good helping of an ass kicking, using some of my badass moves so kick to the balls, grab his head when he's doubled over, and DDT his ass. And, as the finishing touch, one more kick to the balls when you walk away. Easy.

And that's when two others guy charge me, hopping over the counter to a store and one throws the fucking register at me! I dodge of it course but I remember where it lands since I gotta get some compensation for...I don't know, some type of distress cuz of the corpses? Yeah, I'm distressed cuz of the corpses so I demand money.

Anyway, I smack one away with Grim's case and the other I just punch int he throat before three other guys charge out of the store, all of them holding a bat but their like fucking zombies. I don't even think they intend to use it but I don't want to find out. Grim's case goes flying and smashes into one of their heads before I'm hitting the guy nearest to me with the bat I got out of their hand the moment I got close to him. The last guy I just kick in the leg before winding up and I hit a home run when I smash the guy's head in and I manage to catch Grim's falling case and put it back on my back.

Yeah, total badass moment.

"Hey, is that the best you got 20?" This was going to be easy if this guy could only throw goons at me. "If this is it than I'm going to shove one of these bats right up your ass!"

And, just like any pussy, 20 can't even think up of a comback so I'm about to...Wait, where the hell is this guy?

I guess I've got to pull a Batman so I crouch down and I roll over one of the losers I just killed. Yep, just like I thought, he was another escaped criminal, another murderer who escaped from prison recently...on the other side of the country. So why was he here? Anyway, moving over to the next body, a quick Google search using his name and bam-another convicted murderer who escaped from prison only to wind up working at this mall. Third times the charm now and what do you know? Another escaped convict but this guy was from a prison downstate but he was a murderer.

"So what? You do mind control or something?" Yep, I'm going to troll this fucker when I finally find him so I'm not going to kill him outright, make sure he gets real close with Grim for the shit he's pulling here. I'm going to enjoy cutting up this loser.

"Your name...what's your name?" Huh, so the loser actually answered? Using the mall's speakers again and that usually lead to some office, right?

"I don't tell my name to losers!" This guy was just keeping my spot for me, Rank 20 was mine the moment I ended that freak who was holding Rank 21 for me. And all it'll take is a few weeks before I work my way up to the guy keeping my seat warm up at the top.

"I am Kira...I am god...why won't you die?"

"Go fuck yourself!" Ah, now that's a great one.

"Tell me your name, it'll be painless then."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" And another freak like the last guy...I hate the UAA sometimes. I hate it so much sometimes.

"Tell me your name kid." And he's still at it and what the fuck was that? Why the hell do people keep calling me kid? I'm a fucking badass!

"Just for that, I'm putting your head on my wall you dick!"

"Die."

And now a bunch of people are coming at me...like zombies...YES!

"YES!" Grim is out of the case and swinging, hacking two or three guys at a time and I'm laughing.

"YES!" Nothing is like fucking up zombies! I'm covering Grim in blood and it's awesome, trust me!

"YES!" And another one gone, another one gone, another one bites the dust!

I'm pretty sure I look crazy, swinging Grim like a madman with a grin on my face but this is awesome! There's a reason zombie games rock and this is it! Nothing but the endless undead (sort of) hordes coming at you and whatever weapon you can make and mine is one badass scythe! I am awesome on so many levels right now!

I'm ripping apart this horde, Grim going left and right like crazy and I'm smiling the whole time, blood spraying with every swing and covering the floor and me but fuck it! That's what dry cleaning is for! I'm ripping through everything in front of me, giving each and every fucker here a nice big helping of death. I've got enough for all of you (kinda) undead sons of bitches!

A few finally wise up and try to charge me and they make a big mistake when they think a few bats are going to stop me! I let Grim fly out of my hands, already running behind it and it cleaves one of the losers in half before I'm there, leaping into the air and wrapping my legs around out of their necks and hurricanrana (thank you internet) him into his friend before I grab Grim and swing it underneath me, burying it through the two before flinging it at the next dumbass attacking me.

"You're good." And the voice of the loser of losers has returned from the PA system. "Tell me your name."

"Fuck no!" This guy must think I'm a dumbass. He must be some type of witch doctor or some shit like that and needs my name for his crazy mystic shit but I ain't going to fall for some easy shit like that!

"Then I'll figure it out myself, I just need a few minutes to search through a database." Shit, I'm on a time now.

I HATE time trials! I HATE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH! I hate having them in games and I hate even having a fucking schedule! Why the fuck do I need to be on a schedule when I'm kicking ass now too! FUCK THIS GUY!

I let Grim rip through the part of the horde in front of me with a quick shotgun blast before I rush through the hole I make and leave the horde...for now. I'm coming back to kill and loot later. Anybody would when you've got like an endless number of zombies to fuck up. Anyway, back to the point.

I'm running down the mall looking for...well something. Something really fucking obvious like a barricaded door or maybe a sign. Yeah! A sign! A big ass sign that says Rank 20's Ass Here! Badasses Can Skip the Line! Cuz' when I find this little prick I'm going to fuck him up so badly! I'm going to shove whatever the fuck his weird witch doctor-y Death whatever down his throat and then cut off his head! And I would enjoy every fucking moment of it! I was going to cover Grim in this fucker's blood! I may even drink the shit! Wait...yeah, ignore what I just said. That shit is just weird and I'm pretty sure I'll lose some views if I start doing that type of shit.

So, I'm currently running, mowing down the few zombies still left in my way with a few quick slices from Grim and I finally see something. A part of the mall is completely fenced off and I can see someone inside it, in front of a wall of monitors right before they sit up and look, spotting me just as Grim is swinging, about to tear a hole in the fence for me to get through. The fucker, probably 20, hits button really quick and suddenly...

EVERYTHING FUCKING HURTS! Not only did this fucker just zap me but there's a wall of fire in front of me that I can't get through and I'm hearing windows shatter behind me and that means the zombies are coming here to try and kill me again.

But! Like any badass, I can come up with crazy on the fly solutions to problems like this!

"POLE VAULT BITCHES!" Grim, the scythe with a hundred uses. It's like duct tape. I can kill motherfuckers with it, shoot shit with it, blow stuff away, grab stuff with it when I'm relaxing after being a badass (yes, even badasses have to rest sometimes), and I can even use it to pole vault like a boss!

"WHAT!" The loser all but flies out of his seat when I come down, ripping through his whole little set up with Grim but just for good measure I give it a good few slashes.

Number one thing to do in a fight like this? (Well, after fucking up his whole zombie minion army) Always destroy his little surveillance equipment and desk! Especially the desk so he can't pull out some super soldier serum, crazy weapons, get some escape shit from it! Lesson one from video games motherfuckers!

"Yep, you're screwed man." I'm grinning when I turn around to face the loser, keeping one hand on Grim while it stays embedded in the ground before I spot something. It's a notebook. The fuck?

"The fuck is this?" I was expecting some weird voodoo shit and powders and shrunken heads and shit. Where the fuck are they? He can't really be doing all this with just the notebook...right?

Real anticlimactic. I was expecting to have a pretty damn good fight after reaching the boss. Maybe a few waves of zombies during it but really, nothing? The fuck!

"No!" Oh yeah, I haven't killed the fucker yet...damn, I really should have done that first. "NO! This isn't how it ends! I was supposed to send the world into a new era of peace! One free of the criminal scum like you! Murderers! Thieves! Rapists! All of them were supposed to have died! My new world would have been perfect! Perfect!"

"Shut up." And the universal mute button goes to work...BOOT TO THE FACE!...which this fucker dodged somehow.

"NO!" The fuck is he shouting for? "NO! NO! NO!" He's reaching for his watch now and he pulls out some paper...again, the fuck? Why the hell don't you have some laser or shit in there? Some fucking paper ain't gonna stop someone like me from cutting his head off.

"I AM GOD! I AM KIRA!"

"YOU ARE ANNOYING!" I rip Grim out of the ground and intend to spray the fucker with lead but suddenly he's way to close, he must have been on track or something because the fucker is suddenly in front of me and he's pressing a piece of paper into my hand, grinning.

"SEE DEATH!"

...is death supposed to be some punk goth loser? If he is, I'm kicking his ass.

"Yo." I guess I'm supposed to wave at him so I do. With Grim...Yeah, not gonna lie, I tried to cut the fucker in half.

"Ryuk! Help me!" And now the kid is screaming before I get annoyed and use a classic...PIMP SLAP!

"Well, this sucks..." I didn't not sign up to the UAA to beat the shit out of some kid, some teenager. Hell, any badass got to have a code and mine's not to fuck up teenagers to badly...total different story through when they try to kill me. I'm still totally cutting this fuckers head off but I may feel a bit of regret if I do it.

And then I'll go get high and that regret is gone.

"How...how could this happen?" The kid isn't getting up...damn, I'm starting to feel like an ass right now.

Well, a case of beer back home will fix that so I line up Grim for a golfer swing and grin.

"FORE!"

"WAIT!" And I freeze when the kid suddenly grabs the black notebook labeled Death Note off the ground and holds it up to me. "WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!"

"Hmm, this got interesting." The punk ass goth wannabe behind me (might I add the wannabe is floating as well), suddenly is very interested and leans over my shoulder. "You want him to write your name in your own Death Note? How...rude of you sometimes Light. I feel you've broken our promise now."

"Shut up." 20 is looking at me now, he's way calmer and no longer all whiny and bitchy like he was a minute ago. Now he's just staring at me...with like nothing in his eyes.

Everybody I've fought had this stupid look on their face right before they decided to give me a fucking lecture about bullshit and right now my gut's telling me another ones coming and it's coming right now!

"Don't even try it kid, I ain't hearing another lec-"

"No." The fucker cuts me off, he's just holding the notebook out to me now. "I don't want to die like that...I want to die from the tool I've used for so long." He's looking at me now, there's resignation in his eyes and I barely hold back a snort.

That fucker! Now I've got to do it or else I'm gonna lose some fans! Fuck him! At least with that loser who used to be 21 I could kill him because he was a weird old dude but this guy is just a teenager so I got to go along! Fuck!

"Alright kid, give me the fucking notebook." I snatch it out of his hand and open it up and lucky enough a pen is there.

"You should read the rules first." The wannabe goth hanging over my shoulder probably won't shut up till I do so I flip to the front of the book where some words are insider the cover.

"...name...die...not effect...face...heart attack...details...bullshit...bullshit...more bullshit...and a lot more bullshit..." I skim over it all and get the gist of it all. I've got to write the loser's name in the book and think of his face when I'm doing it and I can make him die however I want if I write it down or he just dies from a heart attack. So...easy way.

"Give me your name kid." For some reason the loser is laying down simply looking up through the skylight at the sky above him.

"This isn't a bad day to die..." This kid is weird...I should have just cut his fucking head off with Grim or something instead of doing this shit.

"Name kid."

"Light Yagami."

"Light Yagami...you've got a helluva name kid."

"Now it's all over, in just a few seconds..."

"Yeah whatever." Damn weirdos. I finally look down at the page and see that it's covered in name after name.

 _Jon Smith will throw himself from the roof of the mall once he sees a man in a coat and carrying a leather case approach. He will be holding a letter addressed to 21._

 _Jerry McIntyre will tape a sign to his body with the word HA on it before throwing himself off the top of the mall upon seeing a man approaching it with a case, trench coat, and sunglasses._

 _Rick Norton will tape a sign to his body with the word HA and die by hanging himself in the front entrance of the mall in plain view of anyone who enters it._

 _Michael Young will tape a sign to his body with the word HA and die by hanging himself in the front entrance of the mall in plain view of anyone who enters it._

 _Thomas Harris will tape a sign to his body with the word HA and die by hanging himself in the front entrance of the mall in plain view of anyone who enters it._

The fucking list just went on and on.

 _Eric Shaw will attack the man in the trench coat and carrying a large leather case and will succumb to a heart attack when he feels no pulse and the body goes cold._

 _Derek Waters will try to kill the man carrying a large leather case and will succumb to a heart attack when he feels no pulse and the body goes cold._

 _Frank Gonzales will try to kill the man carrying a large leather case and will succumb to a heart attack when he feels no pulse and the body goes cold._

 _Hank Miles will try to kill the man carrying a large leather case and will succumb to a heart attach when he feels no pulse and the body goes cold._

The fucking bastard was trying to make sure I was dead long before I got to him. Too bad I was just too good for him and his zombies.

"Lot of fucking names in this thing." This kid must have been pretty busy, most of the damn pages were filled.

"They don't matter anymore. They're dead and many more will die with or without me in the world. Just not by my hand. The perfect world I was so close to making for everyone won't exist anymore, not now and not ever again. It's all over. All over before it can even truly begin. All the sacrifices I've made to reach this point. All the time spent with the Death Note and Ryuk and all the pages I've filled with the name of criminal after criminal but it just doesn't mean anything anymore. I don't hold the notebook anymore because it's yours. Do what you want with it."

This kid had fucking issues. But fuck I was going to give him his final wish. Score some more fans with it too. I wrote his name in the fucking book, put it on my belt (still needed a fucking trophy from this fucked up fight), and walked away. I gave the kid one last look over my shoulder and saw him leaning against the wall with a smile on his face before I dropped back down into the crowd of convicts with Grim tearing through them before I even hit the ground. I would kill all his fucking zombies before getting back to the car.

But...

It wasn't fun right now. I don't know why I cared for what I just did but I guess even a badass can take a minute after something like that.

It was easy enough through to tear them apart since I stopped playing around and cut them down with Grim. They were dumb as fuck before and that didn't change. I was done with his little army after 15 minutes and didn't even break a sweat. The car was already there with the door open and I just got in. We pulled out the parking lot just as the local church bell struck 12. I was barely there for an hour. I opened back up the notebook to read what I wrote for Light.

 _Light Yagami will die when the church bell tolls 12 times. He dies with a smile on his face and suffers no pain._

"More peaceful than I would've done it." The goth wannabe was reading over my shoulder and I slammed the book close.

"Fuck off."

* * *

AN: And finished. The next update will probably happen by the end of the week.


End file.
